My 55th trip around the sun.
Today marks my 55th trip around the sun. . I can tell you it has been both one of the hardest AND one of the best years of my life.
How this year started and how it finished are a study in contrasts, and proof that sometimes you have to go the long way around to end up where and who you’re meant to be.
This time last year was heart broken and had misplaced my sense of self and power.
I let people who mattered down because I had let myself down. At my lowest point, I was faced with alienating my big rocks… because I’d lost touch with who and what really matters
It was a shit show and I was the ring master.
Early this year I some of the hardest conversations of my life… with others… and myself.
My daughter who is a genius) pointed out that I’d been chasing the wrong things or people.
I stopped chasing… I began attracting and letting things happen and come to me
I went a journey… a dark night of the soul or shadow work as some call it.
I went to Texas… back to the people and places that made me… to rediscover my roots and lean into them. I didn’t need to find myself, but I needed to metaphorically knock the dust off of my boots and uncover my true self again. true color, shine and value. There were times driving across the nothingnesses in the plains of West Texas, crying, thinking, expanding.
I faced demons, unpacked and emptied baggage I’d carried for years. I started to believe, to live in the present, to have boundaries, to attract, and learn.
Sound deep? It is. I did the work. And it changed my life.
One of my favorite quotes is “if you want the castle you have to cross the moat” The problem up until earlier this year, was that I’d been chasing the wrong castles.
This year I crossed that fucking moat, fought the dragons and took my castle.
I’m so far from perfect … it is always a work in progress. As my friend Rod says, There is no there, but I love myself finally, I love the man I am and I’m running like hell to BE that man every damn day from here on out.
My orbit has changed this year. People have left. People have entered. Grateful for it all. It’s a much denser place. It’s a better place & I’m happy
Bradley
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